Being a sandwiched generation parent is a blessing but also has its challenges. Sandwiched Generation refers to those sandwiched between caring for their aging parents while raising their children. It’s a challenging position to be in, juggling the needs of two generations at once. This blog will explain how to navigate this oftentimes overwhelming role.
Understanding the Term “Sandwich Generation”
The Sandwiched Generation refers to individuals aged 40 – 60 who care for their aging parents and their own children. As a sandwiched generation parent, you are still raising your children or assisting your adult kids because, in today’s society, many adult kids either stay home or return to their parent’s home for financial reasons. And when your aging parents are unable to care for themselves, you may decide to move them into your home. Now you find yourself sandwiched between two generations, assisting both.
The Financial Challenge
Financial is one of the most significant challenges of being a sandwiched generation parent. The financial stress can indeed be overwhelming. Being part of the sandwich generation comes with a unique set of monetary challenges. With the responsibility of caring for both your elderly parents and your growing children, financial stress often rears its ugly head. There are increasing healthcare costs for older people coupled with the rising cost of education for children, to name a few financial challenges.
The Physical Challenge
The physical toll is another challenge. Imagine working full-time, attending to your children’s needs, and ensuring your aging parents receive adequate care – all in a day’s work. It is not surprising how this can lead to fatigue and burnout.
The Emotional Challenge
Then there’s the emotional aspect. The struggle between wanting to meet your needs and aspirations while fulfilling your caregiving duties can also weigh heavily on your emotional health. It’s a reality check when your once vibrant and independent parents need your help for even the most basic tasks. It’s emotionally taxing to watch them struggle with health issues and the loss of independence. You are also tasked with raising your children, dealing with their emotional needs, and guiding them to become successful adults. These responsibilities can cause enormous guilt and stress and make it difficult to maintain balance.
Ways to Manager your Children and your Aging Parents’ Needs
Determine what needs are essential: Start by identifying your children’s and your parents’ essential needs. Prioritizing these needs can help determine where your resources should be most effective. This is not to say that some needs are more important than others. Still, some are more immediate and require more immediate attention. For example, as a sandwich generation parent, I served my mother leftovers, which she complained she didn’t want. What was essential was that she had a balanced meal, not necessarily a meal that she desired. (smile)
Set boundaries: Remember it is okay to say no. It’s okay to say you cannot do certain things, and it’s also important to do this without feeling guilty. Going back to the above example, I could not cook my mother a different meal every day. That would have been exhausting and not cost-effective. I had to set this boundary to prevent exhaustion and overstretching of my abilities.
Seek Resources: Consider home care services or professional caregivers for your elderly parents. Also, after-school programs can offer constructive activities for your children and reduce your worry during work hours.
Last, but most important is self-care. Self care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. As a primary caregiver, you can only give your best when you’re at your best. Establish a self-care routine. It could be a daily walk, yoga, meditation, or, for me, it’s playing a friendly tennis match. A little ‘me’ time can go a long way in keeping your stress levels in check. Remember, carving out time for personal rejuvenation, hobbies, and maintaining relationships is essential. Remember, the healthier and happier you are, the better equipped you’ll be to fulfill your roles. Take a look at this blog on self-care Taking Time for Me
Remember, being a sandwiched-generation parent is not just about your challenges. It’s about your love for your family and your willingness to sacrifice. So, while embracing this role, I go to the Word of God for inspiration and encouragement.
